Children are the embodiment of love. They are your gift and you are their. The love for a child certainly is like no other. Most parents describe it as unconventional. You love your children when they drive you crazy. You love them when they're being sweet. You love them when they're filthy and you love them when they are weak.
You take your them to school, to their soccer games, and to the birthday parties too.
Your life revolves around your children. What would your life be like without them?
Because 50% of marriages result in divorce, this leaves half of all parents to answer this question upon receiving the custodial order of EVERY OTHER WEEKEND.
Having come from a divorced family at a very young age and having gone through divorce myself, in which a child was involved, I know the pain from each side. Imagine loving someone so much and only getting to see them every other weekend or even even less. A hero, a provider, a comforter, and a security, often times, that is what parents are in their children's eyes.
When parents are together they generally provide a younger child with more emotional stability.
When they are around, children feel that the world is a secure place. They have no worries. They do not have to worry what the future holds, why a parent no longer loves them, or what they did wrong to make them leave.
Too often when two people are going through a divorce they lose sight of the important things, like the children. They believe that if they fight for full custody and try to keep the kids from the other parent as much as possible that they will be doing the kid a favor and providing them with a better life. However, frequently the fact is that it's simply a fight out of spite and going to do the child more harm than good.
While you and your ex may no longer share your lives, the one thing you will always have in common is your child or children. And the common denominator is very likely, that they love you both very much. This is going to be a difficult transition for your children and every other weekend is certainly not common to them.
So if you can, try to put away the differences that make you right or wrong or better or worse. Try to remember what's best for the children in this situation – because this is not a choice for them at all. Children are looking and longing for love. You can both give that to them by working together to make this as easy a transition as possible. Civility and kindness go a long way.
You are the example. They will follow your lead. It's important to keep in mind what you're really fighting for. Let's face it, divorce is painful enough. Why make it more difficult for yourself and your children than it has to be?