From the day that precious child enters your life; you become very protective and know that you would actually walk through fire for them. You guard and guide them every step of the way and from the first step they took, you knew that you would always be right behind their backs, as it is endless.
On the other hand trying to protect your children from living in a home of abuse and numerous affairs is rather difficult and emotional scars they soon carry. Tomorrowmore, it can happen right before their own eyes that become huge with either freight or shock from witnessing many many events.
The daily abuse affected my children deeply, as to see them smile was rare and to notice the sadness and anger within became often. While having four children, as each had their own personalities and these circumstances affected each one differently. It was a given that the oldest one tended to be the youngger siblings protector and comfort, as their mother was either being yanked off a chair or drug through the house.
Afterwards, that is how I would always find my children with the older one embracing them. Instantly it would become a group huddle in many tears and prayers for the lords help. In later years, I would over hear my child constantly stating that they wanted their father to leave us and never come back, as the feeling was sure mutual.
Since daddy had missed a few birthday's and managed to always make the holidays even merrier, as the turkey was yanked off the table and threw right out the door or the Christmas tree torn down completely after decorated beautifully. This had devastated my children very much and the many tears suddenly faded, as anger seemed to rise.
Although, I had noticed it through younger years, as I would find my children playing rough with their toys and even destroying them into bits and pieces.
Nothing was worse then finding another child busting their room up with an actual hammer and I knew my children had become more angry then hurt now and this was serious indeed. Especially, as another one put their head right through our living room window shattering it. Of course, I always tried to ease their pain, as I was dealing with even more watching them breaking down and nothing helped the situation.
Given the fact that the abuse was never ending and counseling had sure grown, as I feared my children were out of control or cracking up mentally due to this wicked cycle. Therefore, my children would continue to hurt, as I would be called to the school for numerous losses that they encountered or from skipping school and on the verge of dropping out at only sixteen.
I discovered their pain had become bitter and this was critical, as they were heading down the wrong path now. The final straw was when one child tried to take their life for the second time, and to find out the reasons was heartbreaking.To hear them respond that we are not a normal family because daddy's are supposedly to be the good guy not a bad one who scares us always.
Then the last statement from my child had been, I did not want to hear the fights or see mommy hurt anymore from a mean man. At that point there were many tears of sorrow, as my children had suffered the worst from domestic violence and there was no doubt about it.
Since it had been proven in time to come and after all their years of hiding in closets or sitting on the bed holding their ears in screaming tears, "Stop daddy, please do not hit mommy", come to an end so did the pain and anger. While they picked up the shattered pieces to their broken hearts actually and went on to become wonderful and happy children with smart heads on their shoulders, as well.
Living through this daily had opened their eyes to many things and guess something good had come from a bad situation. When even the word of substance usage made my children cringe or frown after they seen how it can sure destroy a happy home and truly does.