Organising and hosting a function, be it a wedding, birthday, corporate or social event can be a fun and rewarding thing to do, and provide happy memories for both yourself and attendees for years and even decades to come. Unfortunately by the same token, function’s can also result absolute disaster if not planned correctly, which may also create memories for years to come however most likely not the one’s intended.

The following is one of many stories spoken of around the water cooler of a corporate function that was held some years ago for the company I used to work for. Although planned and organised quite well, some things simply can’t be planned for…!

The function had been in the planning for months, with the event being held at one of Sydney’s most fancy and well recognised function rooms. With over 200 staff attending, and the business running extremely successfully, no extravagance was spared for this night of nights, including a singer (dressed as the blue alien from the 5th element), circus performers and a band.

Needless to say, the function was primed for success until an unfortunate turn of events resulted in catastrophe.

In the cut throat world of telecommunications (and in particular the company I was working at), the number 1 salesperson award comes with both a great deal of honour, bragging rights and of course MONEY. Although the year had been one of the most successful, many a salesperson’s head had rolled throughout the year.

So with the formalities of the night coming to an end, the anticipation was building as to who would win this award (at least within the sales department). Simultaneously, the drinks consumed by members of the audience were also building and with award ceremony immanent, things were primed to get ugly.

In any case, the Director after some “inspirational” words announced the winner being a lady by the name of Katherine. As Katherine approached the lectern, the crowd applauded despite the fact there was some confusion as to how she had achieved this feat (in light of the fact although her numbers were really good, they were not the best).

As she go to the lectern she was given the customary simultaneous handshake/kiss on the cheek, and whispered some words into the ear of the Director (or so she thought). Unbeknown to Katherine, the organisers had attached a mobile microphone to the collar of the Directors suit, despite the fact the lectern had a standard microphone attached, which was not being used. As such what she whispered was heard by the entire audience, which went something along the lines of “If I had known all I needed to do was sleep with you to win this, I would have done it last year.” If this wasn’t bad enough, one of the singers of the band hired just so happened to be the fiance of the director.

With microphone in hand, she began to unleash a tirade of insults, and the night ended rather prematurely. In any case, I left the company about 3 months later, however will never forget that corporate function!

Source by Benjamin Vaughan King

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